So much to do so little time and money...

I want to do so much. Want to go to so many places and want to learn about so many new things.
Why am I not shitting money?

Through circumstances beyond my control I actually got the gift of time.
I have half a year, with full salary, to do what I want to do.
This is really awesome. But then theres just so much, I want to do! However I should do something useful with the time, something that will give me a better future... Also half a year aint that MUCH time. I really need to focus on getting  a new job so that the future is secure. These two things, building a better future, and securing the future, seems to be on opposite sides at the moment. And I´m caught in between.

 I need to sort all this out... this is where the breathingpart comes in. Right now I feel myself getting way to stressed up over this.

Take a step back, just breath. Feel. Stop overthinking things!
As if I can. I am a mensan... brain working overtime all the time. Wheres the offswitch?

I feel myself just becoming a selfish little bitch, not thinking very much about anything else but this. Not feeling, just thinking. Its like I turn the emotions off. I´m also quite the controlfreak, so when all is so uncertain, I can surely panic a bit.

Dudes, I´m sorry. Nobody should have to deal with me right now. Not even myself.... oh to bad, I have to.